This topic is probably one of the most complicated and confusing topic for most of us, I don't really know how to appraoch this. In fact, I don't really know that right answer to it neither. But what I do want to share is my limited experience or insigt of this question "who am I?".
Self labelling is not the true self
Firstly, I am aware that there is a clear difference between the "labelling" (defining, naming, conceptual thoughts) self and the "actual" self. This is probably what is tricky about it, some people label and view themselves a certain way in their mind, however that may not be true reflection of their true self. Just like how some people like to label themselves as a pious and spiritual person but in reality their heart and action is still impure. So thinking you are somethng may be a self manipultive delusion.
I learnt you can't really be yourself if you start labelling yourself, as it put barriers and structure to you from freely being how you are naturally are. It confines you.
Why do they label themselves this and that? It could be due to many reasons, maybe insecurities, maybe they are confuse their persona as the real them, maybe they just want to fit into society, maybe ego drives them to become someone else in order to win? who knows?
Afflicted emotions is not the true self
Secondly, I am aware that some people confuse their true self with their afflicted disturbed emotions. Or perhaps they react to an act of others which may not really be them if less afflicted. Anyways, according to some people experiences and ancient knowledge there is a difference between the afflicted emotions (due to trauma) and the natural spirit self (enlightened state). It is like a diamond covered in mud, people think they are mud when it is only an impure affliction and not their true self. So again, people think they are that negative emotional experiences when it is not their true self but just an experience.
Pure intellect (discriminative consciousness) is not true self. It is the heart (not literally!)
One cannot find themselve or be themselves with just mere intellectual reasoning, analytic thinking or being an academic scholar (although it does serve a good initial platform to work from). The true self is the heart (spirit?). To go beyond just concepts and thought to reach the true self through experience, practicing and purification. it is about being intune to our hearts. One can't think their way to enlightenment, as it is very much the process of doing and experiences that transform the hearts (true mind).
Beyond the intellectual conceptual thoughts approach lies a more non-thoughts approach. I heard it is a state that is unconditional, natural and innate. Where once in this state, possibly a subconscious deep meditate state/trance, one may not be thinking he is in that state as there is no thinking (perhaps just knowing). For example, it is sort of like falling into a dream, you won't be able to be aware that you are sleeping in your dreams. Another nice analogy is about a caterpilla who were asked how he could walk with so many legs, then he thought about it and tripped. In that sense, to walk is a natural instinctive state and not an analytical defining state. To think of it in a analytical conceptual way ruin yourself from being natural. But again, I have not experience such state so right now it is just take it as collective words from others.
Inner journey
One must overcome the many internal obstacles in order to reach the true state (the unconditioned). I am not a person who can tell you about this internal journey because I am in no position to. I heard there are many obstacles you have to over come such as afflicted, conceptual obstacles etc... Perhaps in true state there is no self? Something to look into.
Mindfulness, being present, natural and non-thinking activity helps to gain inner peace
I have not reach to a true self state, so I can't tell you how. But from what i heard, it would be meditation, where the mind enters one thought and then zero thoughts is the truer state I heard. Anyways, in terms of being more at peace with yourself, I may have some tips. Firstly, be more comfortable by making sure you are not in a disturbed state (in terms of environment, health, psychological state etc...) and just being "mindful" of the experience and responding to it naturally (hopefully as long as it isn't immoral). In life, watch it and experience it naturally, mindfully and be present at the moment, that's when you are really living (at the same time not attached or emotionally afflicted). Not trying to disturb the naural flow within by discriminative consciousness, self false labelling or afflicted emotions running wild. Especially doing a neutral none thinking task helps the mind "be" instead of dwelling in other afflicted states. Task like tai chi, yoga, sweeping, taking a walk, whatever that stop the mind from thinking and really experience it in a calm manner without internal turbalance.
As for the question what is the true self? I leave this question with a big question mark, well maybe at least for now. Just working with what I am now, perhaps it's something I can't grasp right not.
Well, have a good day and remember to sometime be in the present moment and not get lost in thoughts too much!
No comments:
Post a Comment