Having a clear perspective

For me, I think it useful to be clear about things in various aspect of my life. Such as to be clear where I stand, to be clear of the situation I am in, to be clear about what I want, to be clear how to get to where I want, to be clear about the risk, to be clear about my weakness and even to be clear that I am unclear about something etc... To have this clarity of the situation, really helps things to be kept in perspective.

Why is it important to have clarity in perspective?
Why is being clear and honest about our situation really important? Some people may feel it is only natural to be honest and not live a lie, it is naturally a healthy state of mind to have. it just feels good to breath the air reality.

It is important to be clear about the situation so that we know our position and what action to take. If we are honest about our problems, then there are chance we can fix the problem. If we do not recognise or come to terms with the problem, we won't be able to fix it. Simple as that. If we want to improve, we have to be honest and look at our weakness, our strength, where we stand, and only from there can we make appropiate dicisions.

For example, when we visit a doctor, we expect a "true/clear" diagnosis so we could take the right treatment for it, otherwise there won't be a true diagnosis and none appropiate medication will be given therefore harming to patient. Say if we want to have cancer screening test, we expect to know the true test results, so we can take appropiate action to prevent it. If we fail to find the truth by clouded test reading, than we are putting ourselves at risk and danger.

If we are constantly and honestly recognizing our problems and fix them, it will gradually lead to the truth and success! For example, when the objective is to send a space shuttle into the moon, it was impossible to predict and plan the journey as there were too many unpredictable obstacles that constantly changes the outcome. Therefore, they adopted a smart idea of just being aware of their location and return back to due to course right direction. The obstacles lead the them to be misdirected, and they just have to recognised they they are redirected and change their ship into the right direction. Disregarding the time, this process will eventually allow the ship to reach it's target. Just how we should recognise where we stand, so we could make changes toward the direction we want. Or at least to understand the situation to begin with.

Our character contributes to our clarity in perspective
In order to reach to this clarity of perspect, our character has a major role in it. For example, if we are more honest and truthful we are able to see clearer, but if we are deceitful and in scare of the truth, it is most likely we would be in self denial and and lack clarity. It also takes courage and strength to admit our weakness, than it is likely to know where we stand, but if we are too weak to face our weakness, we will not know where we stand. if we are egotistic, we will be too arrogant to admit and see our weakness thereby be clouded from reality, where as we are less egotistic and more humble, we will be able to see our weakness and where we stand. If we are too attached, we would have difficulties letting go of our fantasy and won't face reality, where as if we are less attached, we will be less emotionally bias and see things clearly. Those are just some examples

Managing angry & distressed people

In life, it is useful to handle to learn how to handle people under stress anf frustrations. There are a few tips taken from a few talks I heard whcih I thought would be useful:

Remove or relief the stressful factor
Anger and frustration is created under stressful situration, which arise from fear, defensiveness, tiredness and other negative factors. We can start by looking at practical ways of removing of reducing the stress factor. For example, if it is due to encountering a stressful situation or environment, than reduce the stressful situation or avoid the encounter. If the stress is due to being tired than have some rest and relaxation therapy to reheal ourself etc... Find practical ways to avoid, reduce and manage stressful situation.

Understand the reason behind anger with a compassionate heart
It is important to understand that there is a reason why people become angry and treat us unpleasantly, how negative traumatic experiences lead to them to be this way, so it isn't completely their fault but just a mere reaction to stressful stimulus. So instead of a narrow minded reaction to the abuse given, we should step back and have a more open minded, compassionate and sympathic their their pain. Be more understanding instead implusively judgement. As a quote goes: "Those who are the hardest to love, need it the most". Handle it being a more mature person.

Learn to be calm, patient, let go and forgive
Whilst we handle angry stressful people, it is most likely we get verbally abused by them, such as insulted, not feeling appreciated for our work and efforts etc... So under pressure we have to have this mental barrier of not taking the negative abuse personally, to not emotionally get captured and react to their negative emotions, otherwise we get caught in their state. It is important to maintain a calm, cool and collective composure, keeping your mind in a healthy state instead of reacting in rage. With a calm mind, the anger person will in time naturally be incline to the calmness. It is important to be patient and not get angry whilst abuse are given, of course it is easier said than done! The anger will not solve the problem but in fact could escalate the tension and the stressful people to become closed. We have to learn to let go of the harshness given, so it is outside your system. If you hold grudges, it will mess up your mind and you won't be in able to rest in peace. We have to let it go and forgive. If you learn to forgive, it heals the pain. Forgiveness is a healer.

Loving kindness and compassion is the treatment
Loving-kindness and compassion is a very powerful and important thing in life. Loving kindness destroy the hatred and anger and convert it into loving kindness and heal the heart in ourselves and others. Everyone wants to be loved, cared, accepted, respected and acknowledged. If we learn to forget about their negative side and look straight into their hearts, there is still goodness in living being, and we give them love, care, acceptance, respect and acknowledgement, they will feel better and happy, and awaken their goodness inside. No one wants to be hated, mistreated, rejected, disrespected and ignored. If we learn to respect them unconditionally, they will open their hearts and grow too.

Tiredness brings anger, rejuvenation brings good mood.
One of the main factors for anger and frustration is tiredness. If we are tired, it is easy to be in a bad mood, which result to angry and hatred others. It is not entirely our fault to blame, but tiredness is the major factor in hatred and anger, and it applies to most of us. Everyone needs some time alone to rest, heal and rejuvunate. As the quote goes: "resting is as important as training". So for just to be at our best, it is important we be in good form, and good form comes in resting and recovering as well. If we recover and feel good, it would do others a great deal as well. So remember, to have time to relax, recover, go for a walk, meditate, watch landscape etc...

Peace out!

Life is complicated enough as it is...

A person trying to find themselves or that inner peace is hard enough as it is, and adding more problems and obstacles like negative and ignorant views from media doesn't help!

Building and simplifying

I notice in life, it begins with learning and collect many things and then over time, simplify it by removing the unessential, leaving the raw essential (without over simplifying or removing any essentials). Just as an artist add the clay together and then sculputure it. A process of building and simplifying.

Having a home, a base

In this blog, I would like to emphasize on having a base, a home where you can return to when you get lost. If you have this reference point, you are less likely to be lost in the midst of the chaotic worldly life. This place is not just a place to retreat, but it serves and a place were you can rest, heal and grow in mind and spirit.

This place could be a peaceful home, it could be a relaxing garden, it could be a sacred sanctuary, a tranquil temple, a hut in a mountain, an imaginary place, an inspirational icon/symbol, it could be words from the wise that brings peace and happiness etc...

Whatever the base is, it should ideally have some of these elements:

• Some where that have a sense of home, inner peaceful, calm, refreshing, tranquility, clarity light, radiant and sacred.
• Some where you can rest in peace, feel safe and not worry.
• Some where you can recover and heal from the wounds of the harsh foolish world.
• Some where you can learn and grow positively, in terms of wisdom, compassion, loving-kindness, virtue, courage etc..

With a base, whether it be in mind, in home, in a sacred place etc... it is somewhere you can come back to when you are lost in the midst of this crazy messed up world, in order to rest, heal and grow in mind and spirit.

Once you have a base to come home to, then you are in a safer shoe to explore the other worldly life without being totally lost without a good reference point to come back to.

May we all find a home, a base.

Different types of confidence

I have come to find there are various types of confidence, namely:

1. Confidence in your ability: This is a form of feeling confident in your ability, through being competent and successful in what you do. Knowing how to is the key for this type of confidence. Hark work, effort, focus, concentration, doing it whole heartedly (not half heartedly) and patience are usually the elements to success and being confident in your ability. Those who are lazy, not hardworking, scattered mind and neglects their work leads to failure, and failure leads to losing confidence in your ability and in turn low self esteem, regrets, depression and other psychological implication, work hard and be good at what you ment to do.
2. Confidence in your way of life (path): Some people are confident because they have faith in their way of life, it could is a spiritual life, religious life etc... and they gain confidence in the path they are walking.
3. Confidence in wisdom and clarity: confidence may come in the ability to be aware of the situation and what is doing on, having good judgements and reasoning. Sense of security arise when you are ready and prepare what is to come. Insecurity is when you are confuse what is to come or what is going on. Clarity is like when there is light in the room you know your way around. Clouded mind is like a dark room, you do not know what is going on, you are confuse, insecure and perhaps scare of what is around you, what's going on or what is to come.
4. Confidence in self acceptance: Sometimes when you are at peace with yourself, confidence naturally arise. This confidence usually comes when you believe that everyone, including you should be treated with respect and dignity. When you believe that you should accept yourself for who you are (as long as you are not commiting immoral things). Be at peace with yourself...
5. Confidence in courage: sometimes you can use your courage to face your fears. And with courage and controlling your fear. confidence naturally grows. With courage, it feels like you are ready to take anything to come, no matter what the outcome or how big the challenge is.
6. Confidence in survival necessity: Some people may feel more confident in themselves once they have the stability to survive, whether a house for shelter, food to survival, clothings to keep warm or medicine to heal illness.
7. False confidence by acting or emotional manipulation: this is when people may not be competent but only act confident and manipulate or lie to themselves that they are confident. These are usually egotistic or arrogant people who are insecure in honestly seeing their weakness and having to lie or manipulate to themselves in false confidence to give them the boost. Sometimes they may even act confident in order to deceive and manipulate others for their own advantage. Such behaviour is dishonourable and will lead to corruption and eventually lost and confuse as honesty and clarity is not there, their minds and lives beings clouded each time.

Becareful! Thoughts manifest into reality

Our thoughts creates our reality

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought" ~ Dhammapada

Here is a very powerful quote that I have encountered. It states how our reality and destiny is really shaped by our very own thoughts. There is no doubt to say that our thoughts play a major factor in our decisions and responses to our actions and hence directions of life. A clear correlation between where our thoughts and the direction we head in life. As this is a some what a useful knowledge, champions and successful people us this technique of mental reflection or meditating on their goals to help reach their goals. The mind is a powerful thing if use properly.

Mechanism of thoughts to reality

"The thought manifests as the word. The word manifests as deed. The deed develops into habits. And the habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and its ways with care. And let it spring from love, born out of concern for all beings
" ~ Dhammapada

One could say, the mind is the master mind behind the chain of events that occur to us. It is the controller, the initiator, the king who set the command. Of course there are other factor influencing our life as well, but one must not neglect that the mind is the driving force behind it.

Mind you mind (thoughts)

Our thoughts determines our decisions of actions and our actions determines our destiny. The mind is something wise people do not over look, they are very careful as it is the core system that controls our very lives. Knowing that negative thoughts will eventually leads to negative outcome and positive thoughts will eventually leads to positive outcome, wise people transform the negative thoughts into positive thoughts, so that the action, decision and destiny will be positive.

Positive thoughts are thoughts of virtue, there are many virtue, from loving-kindness, compassion, generousity, letting go of afflictions, rejoicing the goodness of other etc... I know it may not always be easy, but it's well worth it.

Peace!

Attraction = Desire = Anger!

A very wise and interesting quote from the Dhammapada:

“When a man dwells on the objects of sense, he creates an attraction for them; attraction develops into desire, and desire breeds anger.”

I couldn't say it better!

Treat others how you want to be treated

"Treat others how you want to be treated"

Is a quote I have often heard before. In fact, the strange thing is that, even though it sounds common, it is probably one of the most profound quotes I've heard in my life.

I have learn in later life, that how we treat others is how we really treat our self (subconscious/psyche - inner self). What does this means? Well, it basically mean, how we treat others actually manifest into our (subconscious/psyche) inner self.

For example, if one have hatred for others, the element of hatred goes into one's own pysche and in times, it manifest consciously resulting to the person naturally hating themselves. As quote from the Dhammapada:

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burnt"

Another example is when one belittle others, again the prejudice discriminative thoughts enters one's own subconscious psyche and will cause the person to belittle themselves leading to paranoid, low self esteem, lack of self acceptance and other psychological and emotional implication.

However, if one learn to treat others with kindness and respect, the element of kindness and respect will enter the person's subconscious psyche and will in time naturally make one feel at peace with kindness and respect at heart.

So treating others is really how you are treating your inner subconscious self. It reflects into your subconscious psyche. If you treat others negatively, than negativity will follow you. If you treat other people positively, then positvity will follow you. Therefore it is fair to say, treat others how you want to be treated. The better you treat others the better you treat yourself. So for a better life, treat others well and positive changes will come around. In some what ways, I find that it self is justice.

Speaking is easier said then done. but I guess it's one step at a time.

Who am I? what is true self?

This topic is probably one of the most complicated and confusing topic for most of us, I don't really know how to appraoch this. In fact, I don't really know that right answer to it neither. But what I do want to share is my limited experience or insigt of this question "who am I?".

Self labelling is not the true self
Firstly, I am aware that there is a clear difference between the "labelling" (defining, naming, conceptual thoughts) self and the "actual" self. This is probably what is tricky about it, some people label and view themselves a certain way in their mind, however that may not be true reflection of their true self. Just like how some people like to label themselves as a pious and spiritual person but in reality their heart and action is still impure. So thinking you are somethng may be a self manipultive delusion.

I learnt you can't really be yourself if you start labelling yourself, as it put barriers and structure to you from freely being how you are naturally are. It confines you.

Why do they label themselves this and that? It could be due to many reasons, maybe insecurities, maybe they are confuse their persona as the real them, maybe they just want to fit into society, maybe ego drives them to become someone else in order to win? who knows?

Afflicted emotions is not the true self
Secondly, I am aware that some people confuse their true self with their afflicted disturbed emotions. Or perhaps they react to an act of others which may not really be them if less afflicted. Anyways, according to some people experiences and ancient knowledge there is a difference between the afflicted emotions (due to trauma) and the natural spirit self (enlightened state). It is like a diamond covered in mud, people think they are mud when it is only an impure affliction and not their true self. So again, people think they are that negative emotional experiences when it is not their true self but just an experience.

Pure intellect (discriminative consciousness) is not true self. It is the heart (not literally!)
One cannot find themselve or be themselves with just mere intellectual reasoning, analytic thinking or being an academic scholar (although it does serve a good initial platform to work from). The true self is the heart (spirit?). To go beyond just concepts and thought to reach the true self through experience, practicing and purification. it is about being intune to our hearts. One can't think their way to enlightenment, as it is very much the process of doing and experiences that transform the hearts (true mind).

Beyond the intellectual conceptual thoughts approach lies a more non-thoughts approach. I heard it is a state that is unconditional, natural and innate. Where once in this state, possibly a subconscious deep meditate state/trance, one may not be thinking he is in that state as there is no thinking (perhaps just knowing). For example, it is sort of like falling into a dream, you won't be able to be aware that you are sleeping in your dreams. Another nice analogy is about a caterpilla who were asked how he could walk with so many legs, then he thought about it and tripped. In that sense, to walk is a natural instinctive state and not an analytical defining state. To think of it in a analytical conceptual way ruin yourself from being natural. But again, I have not experience such state so right now it is just take it as collective words from others.

Inner journey
One must overcome the many internal obstacles in order to reach the true state (the unconditioned). I am not a person who can tell you about this internal journey because I am in no position to. I heard there are many obstacles you have to over come such as afflicted, conceptual obstacles etc... Perhaps in true state there is no self? Something to look into.

Mindfulness, being present, natural and non-thinking activity helps to gain inner peace
I have not reach to a true self state, so I can't tell you how. But from what i heard, it would be meditation, where the mind enters one thought and then zero thoughts is the truer state I heard. Anyways, in terms of being more at peace with yourself, I may have some tips. Firstly, be more comfortable by making sure you are not in a disturbed state (in terms of environment, health, psychological state etc...) and just being "mindful" of the experience and responding to it naturally (hopefully as long as it isn't immoral). In life, watch it and experience it naturally, mindfully and be present at the moment, that's when you are really living (at the same time not attached or emotionally afflicted). Not trying to disturb the naural flow within by discriminative consciousness, self false labelling or afflicted emotions running wild. Especially doing a neutral none thinking task helps the mind "be" instead of dwelling in other afflicted states. Task like tai chi, yoga, sweeping, taking a walk, whatever that stop the mind from thinking and really experience it in a calm manner without internal turbalance.

As for the question what is the true self? I leave this question with a big question mark, well maybe at least for now. Just working with what I am now, perhaps it's something I can't grasp right not.

Well, have a good day and remember to sometime be in the present moment and not get lost in thoughts too much!

Respect is the foundation of peace

As I grow older, I have discovered how important respect is, for both our self and the whole society. I heard how people talks about respect and code of honour a lot. How humans as well as animals wants to be left alone in peace and not be intruded or attack. Again, mutual respect is a form of not intruding or attacking others. What happen if there is no respect? The strong will easily prey upon the weaker, and the weaker deceive the duller, society will be chaotic, full of attacks, revenge and retaliation occuring. Society will fall back into the babaric times when there are no laws and order, many people will kill/steal/rape each other due to anger from others disrespecting and harming them, it's a cynical cycle.

Therefore, I understand how important respect is now. For a peaceful society, people must learn to respect each others first. Respect is the foundation for a peaceful, stable and functional society. That is why in some culture they made the special occassion of "respect the elderly days" where younger people actually learn to respect their elders, and through this respect, it set a foundation for inner personal growth and maturity. From that, they learn to respect and cherish life and others. Through respect, love grows.

In addition, how we treat others is what we usually get in return. So if we disrepect others, they will disrepect us back. Likewise, if we respect others, people will respect us back. Treat others how you want to be treated is a good moto. Furthermore, if we belittle and disrespect ourselves, than we would be growing prejudice and disrespect in our hearts/psyche/subconsciousness, and that will manifest many implication from disrespecting ourselves, low self esteem, lack of self acceptance etc...

The other day, I had written "Respect yourself and respect others. For if there are no respect and code of honour, everyone will be stabbing each other with words and blades. Mutual respect is the seed of many great things."

Enjoy!

Focus and respect your own life

Don't feel dispair and disregard your life when you see others living a more colourful life, every life is precious in different ways although many people do not see it. Don't fall into the celebrity wanna be trap, for every breath is precious and everyone has their own road to walk on.

You got to look at your road ahead of you and not just staring at the road of others. You got to count your blessings and not idolize the blessing of others. You got to live your own life!

Therapy

When it comes to therapies, I got a few approaches that may be of some use. These are:

1. Acknowledge and dealing with the task
A lot of worries can be dealt with just will, effort, hard work and patience. Dealing with the problem directly.

2. Acceptance and letting go of the problem (that can't be fixed)
There are times when nothing can be done and it is time to let go and be free again. There must be acceptance, in order to acknowledge the subject, followed by mentally letting go of it. It is important to accept it and comes to term with it first, otherwise we do not know what we are letting go of, and it will be in our mental system, so it is vital for acceptance.

3. Tempory distraction or breaks to clear the mind.


4. Approaching afflictions with kindness and gentleness
Sometimes affliction arises and your mental approach towards it may worsen it. For instance, you are trying to manage your own anger but you approach it in an upset and strict manner, which cause your afflicted anger to not go. So you become angry because you are angry of yourself being angery. Sounds complicated, I know, but that's how human minds work. However, if you approach angry afflictions with loving kindness and gentleness manner, in times your afflicted anger lessen and disappear and become loving kindness and peaceful.

There are activities that are therapeutic to the mind, which helps the mind and emotions clear, calm and reheal it self. These are as followed:

• Meditation
• Non thinking activities: like Tai Chi, Chi Kung, jogging, drinking herbal tea, watching the sky-stars-moon or even throwing pebbles into the lake! Whatever activies that is calming and isn't emotionally straining or tense.
• Listening to mellow music that calms the heart like enya etc.. or watch a positive inspirational movies to take you mind off in other positive visions or reading an inspiration positive book
• Talking about the problem may help to get it out of your system and to understand the situation better, inovate ideas and solutions.