Too busy to be depress

"I'm so busy that I don't have time to get depressed" ~ Kyoto

I guess being busy does have it's advantages!

Control VS Influence

I had a dream about this quote, I remember reading about it ages ago, but it came back into my dreams last night. Roughly and inactually speaking:

"In time, you can't go on feeling you have control over people. Because you really have not no control over others, you will be left disappointed, hurt and stress. You can only advise, encourage and influence other, but not control them, otherwise you end up stressed for no reason."

Don't know why it came in my dream?

I mean, "we can't even control ourselves let alone controlling others"

Learning from our elders and ancestors

I feel that our current generation is generally lost. There is a lot of lost knowledge and wisdom we can learn from our old ancestors. I think it is partly due to the changes in the social system and technology that changes our generation to way of life and way of thinking, where although there are gain, there are loses.

I don't know exactly what our generation have lost? Maybe it's trust that is built through loyality and being non-promiscuous that set a stable happy home? Maybe it was appreciation the mild and little things in life (since life wasn't too luxurious) that makes one more content and happy? Maybe there weren't communication technology to replace the real interaction between humans which makes real interaction more to cherish? Maybe back then people weren't bombarded with too many knowledge (including corrupted ones) that makes them more innocent and pure minded? Maybe there were more sages or saints back then!? Who knows!?

In any case, we should investigate our ancestors way and see what we could learn from then. A quote I just heard:

"When a new one is born... the older disappear. That is the natural process. But we musn't forget the lost ones" ~ Mitsukoshi

Being Kind VS Acting Kind

There are difference between actually having a kind heart and just acting kind. I am aware we are living in a social community where people would have to act kind or likely to be socially accepted at some case, but it is only through acting and not from the genuine. Just like to make clear of the difference for timid individuals.

"I miss you!" "I love you", I <3 you!" yeah yeah.... but do you really mean it? Get the drift?

Anyways, it is smart to ignore the whole acting and just be honest and genuine. Being sincere and honest is a very important attribute to have as a good human.

It is hard, but harder without

"It may be hard, but it is harder without (in the long run)".

That goes to student, growing up, spiritual development and what not. Just how it is hard to get a qualification but it is harder without qualification to get a job.

It is hard to discipline our character, but is it harder without discipline in the long run because without discipline we would get into more trouble such as alcoholic or drug addictions, being fired. It is hard to take the bitter medicine but it is harder without because the illness would harm you. It is hard to spiritually grow but it is harder in live without spirituality/morality, as darkness follows the non-spiritual and non-moral path.

Tips on praying/recitation

I gathered some pointers on praying or recitation in which I think might be useful. Firstly, I want to differentiate praying, invoking and reciting. Praying is similar to invoking, it has an mental state of mind of calling out to be heard or to build a deeper connection to the unseen. Recitation is more base of a meditative state of mind through words.

Elements:

• Mindful: Sincerity is very important, truelly and honest recite and pray whole heartedly. It is more likely to be responsive under sincerity. Another word of putting it is "single mindedly" or "undivided attention". To focus it 100% without scatter mind thinking of other things other than the task.
• Concentration:
• Faith: when invoking or making prayers, it is important to have faith, since only through faith can one become sincere and hence attain a single minded concentration for responsive rsponse. Having faith in who you are praying to and the power of the prayer. And do not demand or expect the results but just pray sincerely and accept the outcome, as it may be for the best.
• Sense of need: As for invoking (calling out) or praying, it is more effective with a sense of "need", since response is more effective when one is sincere.
• Pure intentions. The intention should be pure and innocent. Unwholesome thoughts arises afflictions (scatterness, greedy, hatred etc...), or guilt which prevent the mind from focusing.

Methods:

• Continue audio flow, coming out from the mouth, through the ears and into the mind.
• To be reciting from the heart
• To use visual aids (images or imagination) along with recitation/praying.

If you have any other tips, please let me put it under the comment! Cheers!

Intelligence without virtue leads to destruction

I feel that some of us in society over rate purely intelligent people without regarding character and nobility. Why? Because even intelligent people may be powerful or successful to some degree, but without morality it would leads to potential corruption. I believe in this quote:

"Try not to become a man of success but a man of value" ~ Albert Einstein

It is actually dangerous to be intelligent (sly and cunning) like a fox and without having morality. With the brains, they can actually carry out corruption in a larger scale, take for instance Hitler, with his cunning tactic he was temporary successful but caused destruction. Although corrupted and immoral people may seem like they are currently winning, in the long one they are only destroying themselves. In what sense? Well, firstly, they are selling their soul and darkness will follow sooner or later and there after. They would live in affliction, where no inner peace is attain and their heart will not rest in peace. And most people just don't like immoral people, since they are smart enough not to trust immoral people who have the potential to backstab them, where sooner or later opposition will meet the sly ones. At the end, they foolishly harm themselves and others. That is the danger of being intelligent without good principles and good character.

Intelligent people are good with manipulating, debating and rationalizing, but without good character and principles, they could easily deceive others and even themselves, inorder to get what they want. They can rationalize their evil deeds to get away with it, which makes the situation more complicated! There will be a lot of truth distorted if lacks of honesty and integrity.

What is considerably important is a person heart and character, how kind and virtueous they are. These should be the bases of thing. Only then, can intelligence be used to help goodness to prevail and to understand how potential evil things can manipulate them. Good "intentions" and "heart" are important facators for wisdom and spiritual well being, and "intelligence" should tools used to over come problems and create goodness.

Intelligence, is like power. As a quote from spider man "With great power comes great responsibility". So possessing intellectual skills requires responsilbility. I'll rather be a simple good hearted man than a corrupted intelligent powerful person, in that way, at least my heart is safe. But if I do possess an intellectual mind, may it be use for overcoming suffering and create goodness in a well careful manner without becoming arrogant and egotistic from possessing it's mental power.

Priority & selectivity leads to success

As mentioned before from my previous blog, priority and selectivity are elements of success.
In many times, even though there are many good points, too many points will lead to scatterness and less effective specialised performance. For example, if there are too many goals, it is less likely to achieve them successfully as specialised effort are scattered. If there are too many courses to study in, there won't be any advancement in a specific course. If there are too many moves in martial art to learn, one won't master any effectively. What is the point of learning thousands of moves if you won't be able to master any of them? The mind work best if few goals or task are set. So as the ancient quote goes:

"The man who chases two rabbits catches neither" ~ Confucious

So for success, I would advise to organise what is the "main" important points to focus on, and be aware of the minor points that has less priority.

It is the same with making speech, if you 100 points, the listener would be loss and not much gained. But if there are a few points made and emphasized, it is more likely to get that point across successfully.

"The Empty Mind" - Eastern Fundamental Ways

One of the fundamental aspect that stands out in the east is the notion of the "Empty Mind" which can be found in the Shaolin Temple, Wu Dan, Karate, Zen school, Kung fu, Tai Chi, way of the tea and so on.

What is this "empty mind" idea? Well, it is not really an idea but rather a state of mind gain through meditation and a certain way of way of life. It is from "Chan" (Zen in Japanese) which means "no thing". When the false delusional thoughts, afflicted emotions etc... are gone, the true original self or enlightened nature found. It is gradually gain through one minded concentration through doing meditation or meditative activities until there is no thoughts but just our true original nature. Meditative activity could involve standing, walking, yoga, tai chi, chi kung, drinking tea etc...

When one reach this state of Chan (no thing, or empty mind), one is connected with the whole world as everything in this world are actually made from the same spiritual emptiness or void of energy. It is everything yet nothing. Again, something which is difficult to grasper conceptually or intellectually but only through meditative experienced.

This spiritual emptiness should not be mistaken for the affliction of false emotional/conceptual emptiness. Many people confuse true emptiness with the negative emotions or concepts of emptiness, hallowness, annihilation, repulsion and of such which may leads of implication such as loneliness depression, rejecting physical world and principle etc.. As these are no the true spiritual "empty mind" but just emotional and conceptual misunderstanding of it which many people fall into the trap of.

The meditative exercises may involve the energy of "Chi"or "Qi" (also known as "Panna" or "Chakra" in india and "Ki" in japanese). The Chi is gain through meditative exercise and channeling the flow of energy in harmony around the body, which has many physical and spiritual benefits. But they best way to experience proper "Chan" is by Chan meditation, although a proper instructor should be there to guide one.

NB: I am not qualified to talk about it but thought it is worth mention about it briefly, so one can further their investigation or/and practice on this matter of "empty mind". If there is any mistake in this blog please inform me.

Positive environment = Positive mind

Environment influences our mind, emotions and actions.

One of the major factor in life which a lot of people underestimate is our environment and how our environment significantly influence our minds, emotions, mentality, thoughts, actions and outcome.

If we are in an unpleasant environment, we would naturally feel uncomfortable, repulsive and traumatized. If we are in a pleasant environment, it is easier to indulge, relax and slack. If it is in a messy room, it's easy to feel scattered, confused, frustrated and perhaps close off the mind from our environment and escape into your own thoughts. If we are in a simple and harmonizing room it is more likely for us to feel calm, peaceful and have a clearer thoughts.

Positive environment leads to positive mind, emotions and actions
Whether we like it or not, it is the undeniable truth that majority of us fall prey to the influence of our environment. Knowing this, we should take advatnage and learn how to use the environment in order to make our experience more positive. For example, keeping the room simple and neat helps the mind to become more clear, less distracted and more focus. The light colours of the wall can make you feel more refreshed and lighter. The spaceous environment may make us less clustrophobic and more breathable etc...

Environment includes TV, music, people etc...
Environment may not just mean the room setting, but also sounds, music, people around us, smell, TV, internet, posters etc... TV and media is also a major factors, since people constantly watch it and get exposed to ideas, concept, what to buy, what to do. Our current generation literally learn and see the world through television. So it is important to be aware of the danger of that.

Guarding our senses and mind (a more macro interpretation)
Ven. Heng Sure mention a story about his visit to a talk. There, many people had deep philosophical and intellectual discussion over dinner, and there was a quiet cleaner or helper. So some teased the helper and told him to give some wisdom. Not in the exact words, these were his words:

"Be careful what you eat". (Then everybody began to laugh).
"Be careful not just what you eat with your mouth, but also your eyes, ears, skin, nose and mind".

And this quiet helper managed to shock others with his simple but yet profound words. And it is true. If we are exposed to poison and mentally accepts the poison, it will poison us. Likewise, if we are exposed to wholesomeness, mentally accepts it, then it will make us wholesome.

However, ultimately we should guard and control our senses and mind, as it will affect us. Highly wise, concentrated and spiritual person have the ability to be exposed yet unaffected in mind and heart.

But, if we are currently not internally strong enough to maintain unaffected by what goes into our senses and into our minds, then we need control what we are exposed to, and avoid negative messages.

Exposure affects the subconscious mind
Even though some may take it lightly or may not see a direct impact of the expose in our mind and emotions, it certainly do have an major impact on our subconscious mind which we may not be aware of. Psychology research have proven that a lot of subliminal message actually have impact on other people and thereby used the techniques on commerical and corrupted media. So there is this quote (not accurately worded quote):

"Stay near black ink, one is likely to be stain black.
Stay near yellow ink, one is likely to be stain yellow"

So what we are exposed to, we are influenced by it consciously or/and subconsciously, therefore be smart what you are exposed to.

Misunderstanding the term "Emptiness"

The teaching of emptiness is probably mind boggling to many of us. I personally do not properly understand this, but I do have a few pointers regarding it.

The english terminology of emptiness may be viewed different from the word where it originates from, sunyata (a sankrit word). The interpretation of emptiness from ordinary person would be like a hallow, void or nothingness which may trigger an afflicted sense of alienation (I call these false emptiness). On the other hand, the actual interpretation is more spiritual, and refers to impermance, selflessness, non-independent and various other spiritual insight which cannot be conceptually graspered. It is something I currently cannot comprehend nor explain.

Difference between "true emptiness" and "false emptiness"

I think it is appropiate to say that this "true emptiness" can only be "experienced" through spiritual practices. It cannot be understood in concepts or merely thinking about it or just emotionally feeling it without spiritual practice.

False emptiness is not true emptiness, as it is still emotionally, conceptually or subconsciously "attached" to the idea of "void", "hallow", "nothingness" etc... And it may be followed by a form of attachment to afflictions of repulsiveness, alienation and depression. This feeling is not emptying the heart from afflictions and therefore not true emptiness.

True emptiness is something that can only be reached through successful spiritual practice, and not mere academically rationalising, conceptualising and talking and about it.

Problems with false emptiness: alienation, depression and rejecting wise practical advice.

Being attached to this "emotional hallow state", may leads to repulsiveness, alienation and depression. Emptying means letting go of afflictions, but ironally, "false" emptiness leads to more attachment to this afflicted hallow and alienated feeling. True emptiness let go of emotional afflictions, which false emptiness fails to see.

Another danger of misunderstanding emptiness, is rejecting whatever we perceive, even if it means good wise advice. As a result barrier is built and rejects help, reject wise and practical advice given. As wise advice are rejected, foundation cannot developed for proper spiritual progress to occur, and the the person may be trapped in the state of affliction (concept of void, repulsiveness, alienation and depression etc...).

For example, they may reject upholding moral conduct, meritorious deeds and creating positive karma, as a result creating a darker and dangerous path for themselves. They fail to develop good foundation of morality and proper conduct, so they cannot be spiritually ready to progress and develop further. So remember having a good foundation is a smart move to make.

Emptiness should be taught to those who are ready
Emptiness is often not taught until the teacher decides the student is ready. This is probably why in some tradition, such as the Tibetan tradition, it is breaking the precepts for teachers to teach emptiness to those who are not ready.

But as this Sunyata, emptiness, can only be experienced, I'll keep my mouth close and let you do the experiencing. There may be errors or confusion in my writing, so please inform me. Wish you all the best!

It takes great effort to become effortless

"...it takes tremendous, tremendous amounts of effort to become effortless" ~ Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo

"And we miss a point. It is not a quick and easy fix. Geninue spiritual path is not easy. Because our lower nature is like a force of gravity, you know, it keeps pulling us back down. And it's very very hard to get beyond that. And to be like an eagle sawing. You know, mostly at the very best, we are like little sparrows, newly hack, just trying to flap our wings to get a few inches above the ground and then down we go again. It's very hard to really saw. And it takes tremendous, tremendous amounts of effort to become effortless" ~ Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo

It's better to becareful and say no

Sometimes "initially" saying "no" or "wait as I have to assess" is much more better than saying "yes" straight away. Why? Because it is careful, gives you time to assess what is going on and take make proper decision. There is also a sense of control, to make better and repsonsible decisions. It is just like having a security lock on your door, so you can monitor who is safe to come in and who to reject. There is pretty much what naturally intelligent people do.

It is more easier to start from no to yes, than yes to no. From from yes to no is rather like building expectation and remove it which can be rather harsh, but nevertheless, somethings must be made clear. On the other hand, starting from no to yes maybe harsh to begin with but at least it doesn't leave false expectations.

There is this idea where one should venture into the world and do everything and experience everything and not to be a party pooper. From my point of view, this is a ridiculous, childish and childish approach to life. Some things in life shouldn't be risked otherwise one would have to pay greatly. We can use our intelligence to know what it is like. It doesn't require touching the sun to know it is hot. It doesn't require shooting ourselves to know that it'll kill us. One shouldn't sell their bodies just to experience losing virginity, thereby to ruin their history and chance of being with a partner looking for someone physically pure. The so called, "you must experience everything" is just a childish and immature mentality.

Don't be affraid of saying "no" even under pressure, because it will only show that you are not a "puppet" "undercontrol" by others and peer pressure, and that you are "strong" to stand your ground, thereby gaining "respect" for having "your own mind". Do not be weak by letting your own arrogance control you by saying yes to prove a point when it is really not what you want. It only shows you are a weak puppet desperate to be accepted and approved of them.

Children can afford to make mistakes, but adult should not. Being an adult where your actions and decisions determines the fate of others, requires great responsibility and leadership. Be careful, and know when to say no, when to turn from a dangerous path (knowing that you must shallow your pride for the best) differentiate a mature person from an immature person.

Inner self VS ego (afflictions)

Introduction:

We are living in a time where many people "act" out confident as though they know it but do not really know it. Extreme unhealthy "arrogance" and "egotism" blinds them from greater reality and true self until they only see themselves in false illusion. This so called self labelled superior being look down upon others closing the door of true self, wisdom, reality, and humility.

Inner self and Ego Model

I am mot specialised in this field, but I would like to give you a brief mechanism of ego, which is comprehendable through self experienced:

1) Inner self: a state of unconditioned inner self, experienced through successful meditation practice. The inner side is direct own experiences so definite definitions are not giving, but brief examples of word such as light, clear, peaceful, wisdom, compassion etc... are usually use to discribe this inner self state. However, it is only through self experienced so people do not tend to say fix what it is, but what it is not.

2) Primitive Defensive Ego: this ego is in primative state which arise to defensively protect one self when under disturbance, danger or traumaic experiences.

3) Developed Delusional Ego: when ego are left to grow, it develops into it's own accord, trying to become independent. In turns it blind you from your true inner self. It is proud of it's self as it saved you from attacks, so thinks it is a leader and arrogance affliction grows and dominants over your true inner self. It cause various implication, delusion from truth, anger, aggression, such as blinding you from your true inner self, it brings dishonesty as it does not want to face the truth of it's weakness.

(Note: Transitional Ego: is a transition between fully developed delusional ego and primitive defensive ego, as there are various levels of ego)

Problems of the "Developed delusional ego"

1. It confuses and blinds you from your inner self, trying to take over and dominate your true self. It is trying to cover your inner true self.
2. It blinds you from the bigger reality of what is happening around you and confines you to just yourself and your own wishful delusional thoughts.
3. It is too arrogant to admit faults and to see the truth, so it covers the truth and it's weakness. As a result of unresolved weakness and problems, it grows into an ever bigger problem, until you self destruct or break down. It is like an undetected disease, which fails to be recognized, so the disease get's worser until you die. Likewise, the ego is too proud to admit the truth of weakness and disease. Without honesty and recognizing your faults, there won't be room for any improvement and recovery, therefore, make sure the ego is reduced, be honest and admit your weakness and to fix it. To face your weakness will make you stronger.
4. It does whatever it takes to win in order to fulfill it's own ego satisfaction, therefore it results to harming and hurting themselves and people around them. For instance, cause you to bully others just to win and feel good about yourself.
5. Ego arise from or developed from insecurity too etc..

Difference between pride and arrogance

Having pride are more based on being happy with something, which is acceptable. Arrogance is more based on belittling others, feeling more superior than others and more special.

Method of reducing "Developed Delusional Ego"

1. Being respect and humble towards other people, especially our elders, yet not losing our honesty
2. Meditation
3. Helping others selflessly

Focus & sacrifice for success

I already have mentioned this in my "key to success" blog where you might want to check it out but I thought it is worth while to expand on this point.

Sometimes to reach success, one must eliminate unimportant things, so that the mind won't be distracted, or scattered by the unconscious thoughts of having to do something not important. Therefore it is worth while to know what you are going to eliminate and to actually make it clear that you are not getting involve with it, or you could make it clear that you will come back to it later. The lesser distraction you have, the more successful it is to focus and achieve your goals.

Another approach is to just focus on your goals and forget about the rest, this surely will maximise your success rate. This is a more direct approach. Bare in mind to also be aware of other important things in your life such as family, friends, perhaps you religious obigation, learn more about yourself etc...

Or one may to do both sacrificing other things and focus on the goal.

Wish you success!

Thinking & Doing

Sometimes purely thinking about it and not taking action is fruitless.

Especially when it comes to therapy, sometimes the more we over think to rationalise things, the more saturated and scatter our mind becomes, causing stress, frustration and anxiety. Of course there is time for thinking, there are time for doing, there are time to clear & rest the mind. Just make sure you know when to stop thinking and start doing.

Just as thinking of food will not keep your stomach full, one must eat. Likewise, thinking about bath will not clean you, one must bath!

As I have said, there are time for thinking, planning, reflecting etc... and there are time for doing, action etc... Just know the difference, as there are some who dream their whole life away and some who just live but never have a dream.