Becoming a man...

I have realised that we are in a society which no longer promote growth of mature adulthood. In fact, some may say that modern society is preventing growth of mature adulthood.

Here we are, in this world, where there are many childish immature minds trap into a fully grown man's, like boys trap in a man's boy. This becomes a very deceptive veil, leading to many deception and confusion out there.

Here we have, men who have not matured due to various reasons, whether by broken family, mentally disturbing childhood, lack of mature men showing them how to grow inside etc...

Here are some examples of the characteristics of these immature men:

• Men who lacks of integruity, who loves to deceive themselves and others by acting confident when they aren't competent and love to role play. Childish empty words.
• Men who are still insecure, so they result in dominating others by intimidation, threats, mockery and such childish behaviour in order to fulfill their childish ego. They are not proud about themselves so they need to step over others to feel a bit better. These are basically from boys who bullies due to insecurity, however, it has developed into something more sophiscated, a bit more rationalised and veiled by adult features. From insecure bullies to sophiscated intellectualized bullies. Having a bigger stronger body can be a really effective way of hiding their true colours, by giving threats, but nevertheless that is just a lost boy in a boy body.
• Men who are insecure, so they have to constantly compete over petty things, which are like high school boys mentality. They lack the maturity, brotherhood and supporting each other or at least to focus on their own goals and not be petty over little things.
• Men who are still stuck in a state as victims, they defensively hide and act weak, and do not have the courage to come out their shell and be themselves.
• Men who are extremely selfish & lack responsiblity, who are constantly obsessed with doing what they please, that lose touch of reality and stuck in an idealistic fantasy world. They lack responsibility of supporting themselves and their family, taking their role as provider and supporter. They are basically spoilt kids who grew up without any responsiblities.
• Men who do not focus their time in developing themselves, but goes around complimenting and idolizing others, so they feel like they can get a piece of the pie but in fact they don't have their own .

Society which is considered as healthy, stable and functional, usually abides with a system which emphasis the maturity of men, through a moralistic educational system, ritual inititaion which has some sort of life lesson in becoming a responsible adult. These system encourage men to grow up as socially functional men.

The lesson of which is taught for boys to become real mature men various depending on culture and environment factor, but below are examples of attribute which are vital for growing up as healthy functional men:

1. Being a man does not mean acting or living an image, it just means becoming wiser, seeing things from a wider scope and more responsible, it does not not being yourself. Wiser mind yet the heart should be unconditioned like a child.
2. Men should learn to endure hardship and the harsh reality of life, yet have hope for the brighter future.
3. Men should take responsiblity and know how to survive and look after themselves.
4. Men should learn to take responsibility for other people as well, training towards being a provider or a responsible leader of men.
5. Men should understand and live by the morality and right principle, walk the right path and take the right decision. Righteousness, wisdom and compassion is the proper way to in life.
6. Men should have noble characteristic such as being honest, straight forward minded (no sly nor manipulation), have integruity, being sincere and whole hearted, peaceful, not self conceit etc...
7. Men should work hard and understand the value of earnesty, as hardwork is one of the keys to success and confidence.
8. Men should know well to respect the terriority of themselves and others, to avoid unneccessary conflicts. Code of honour is vital in keeping to society functional. Also to avoid foolish men who would bring unneccessary conflicts in the first place. Differentiate foolish boy-liked mind from mature sensible men.
9. A man should attempt to establish his life, know which directions to take in life, interms of spiritual life, career life, moral principles and ethics etc...