Anger management

1. Know that the anger is not truely natural you, it's an affliction caused by disturbance and non-balance
2. Know that anger causes many problems like frustration, uncomfortableness, depression, health problems in the long run, easy to run out of blessings, life becomes darker etc...
3. Recognise the anger in you, point at it and know it was the cause of many unpleasant problems in your life
4. Learn to forgive
5. Learn to let it go, forget about it.
6. Know it's not important to you in terms of the greater good, it's a petty emotions if useless
7. Learn the reason (chain of causes) why you are being angry and is it worth it?
8. Know that other causes
9. Place less importance in self
10. Know the people causing the anger are lost, confuse and arrogant, due to a disturbing traumatic experience, and feel sorry for them but do not hate them.

What makes one mature?

Immaturity is based on disrespect, selfishness, aggression, ego and of such (the attributes of the fools)

Maturity is based on respect, responsibility for self and others, calm and in control, humility and of such (the attributes of the wise).

Growing up is being selective

teenage years was an all out experiment, later years is "ideally" a process of continuous re-evaluation and implementation to get that "right balance" and selectivity.

Antisocial causes and possible solutions

So far the following factors contributes to anti-social behaviour:

1. Bad parenting (not teaching morality)
2. Bad education (not teaching morality)
3. Bad media (showing and glamorizing anti-social behaviour)

Of course there are other factors which may contributes to anti social behaviour, although these 3 are major issues which have been frequently bought up. The following possible solutions are:

1. Establishing parenting help group and society as well as mentoring system. Making social worker more effective and efficient in their duty. Breaking barriers of inappropiate to ask parent help.
2. Teaching morality, virtue, humanity and being a good citizen in education system.
3. Monitor media, not showing anti-social material in public advertisement due to exposure to youngsters, and anti-social or explicit material before 9pm strictly. There should be reinforcement in this field as media company are more likely breach these regulation.

Of course society is not likely to be completely free from anti-social behaviour but at least it will reduces the impact through education and awareness. It is also important to have an official established organization body in which people can refer to.

Immaturity

Childish minds in adults body, what is the world coming to?

Do you truely hear me?

You hear, but you do not hear... You hear the voice but you do not hear the voices of the heart.

Brief outline of spiritual path

Here is a brief outline of what I personally think spiritual path is involved:

• Awareness of problems: recognise that one is suffering due to the corrupted materialistic worldly life which does not bring true inner happiness, peace and future security.
• Seclusion (in positive environment): knowing the danger of corrupted materialistic life, seclude yourself from it (or at least for a while) to avoid exposing your mind and emotions to corruptions, giving time for your mind to rest and heal. Selusion means avoiding negative media, TV, bad influences from friends, bad habits etc...
• Morality: Reframe from corrupted actions (precepts) which will have negative effect on mind, outcome and karma. Nuture positive wholesome actions (good deeds) which will have positive effect on mind, outcome and karma.
• Positive character: Understand that it is not just wholesome actions and precepts to live by, but also mind and intention which should be kept in positive pure manor, as karma is determine by action, speech and mind. This is living a life to lessen the internal afflictions of greed, anger, hatred, ignorance, scattered mind, ego, arrogance, doubts, etc...
• Spiritual practice: Spiritual practice generally involves recitation, various meditation methods, fasting and what not. Spiritual practice are to directly purify ones inner self. With good guidance, one should progress and unlock ones innerself, wisdom and perhaps spiritual power or facilities.
• Wisdom: wisdom here various, as there are "insight wisdom" that is gain naturally through spiritual practices, "applied wisdom" as the ability to apply right principles to the right situation and "wisdom of doctrines" is the wisdom discussed and taught from doctrines.
  

What is strength? Inner strength VS Outer strength

When I was young, defining what is strength was probably easy, I would imagine a muscular man from an action movie who beats up his enemies with brut. Pretty much simple minded I'll say. But as I grow up, the definition of strength changes. It is so simple no more. Here are some food for thoughts:

Sometimes being gentle is true strength as it enables one to succeed in something such as archery, being a good teacher or even winning a debate.

Sometimes being flexible and subtle is true strength to win, such as being witty.

Patience and forebearance is true strength.

What a woman can be strong at, a man can be weak at and vice versa. So as you can see, the definition of strength changes according to the situation. Such as physical strength, mental strength, emotional strength, strength in flexibility and wits etc...

But as I believe that spirituality is ultimately the path to go, inner strength and virtue is the greatest strength of all.

Molding into persona (role acting); a psychological problem

We are living in a time now when media is ever so more influential. I mean, being subjected to media constantly, we more or less expose our mind and meditate on these media.

And due to the media, there is a evolving role of cultural identity. How people feel that they need to become a known social archtype persona inorder to fit in and become "someone". This means, they will act a role and end up believing they are that role, such as one of the character from Sex in the City, Desperate Housewives, celebrity wannabes, kawaii girls, rock-hiphop and such. To act and molding their own inner character and emotions into that sort of type of social Persona. In other words, they are imitating their idol in a emotion and subconscious level, which I find extremely dangerous and manipulative for oneself. If a person continue to act, they will lose themselves, they will become paranoid and forget to be natural, be themselves, act how they honestly feel without being influence or manipulate by other social persona.

I think it is time for many of us to start evaluating ourselves, and see if we are being honest or just subconsciously following a icon because of insecurity of being no body. Stop labelling yourself, and start being natural and not paranoid!

Of course, there is always a certain level of persona we have to put up once we are dealing in society, but there is an extend which it becomes an obsession and a self manipulative lie to oneself.

I think this is a major topics which needs to be investigated properly, since a lot of people I know are victims of this psychological problem.

The best thing is to be our self.

Are we free?

Are we free? A question that sounds stupid but rather interesting. A lot of people are fighting for freedom, fair enough. But are we really free? To answer this question, I will ask the following questions:

• Are we free from social laws and regulate? No
• Are we free from the social influence such as how we think? No
• Are we free from physical suffering such as aging, disease and eventually death? No
• Are we free from emotional suffering such as addiction, rage, depression, broken heart, frustration, disappointment etc...? No

So in regards to these questions, it shows that us humans aren't really free as we might think we are. We are more of less trap in the world of inevitable suffering. OK, enough with being pestmistic. One good news is that at least there is inner freedom, if one becomes more in touch with themselves and know how to remove psychological pain, I believe that is one freedom worth fighting for!

Too much freedom is dangerous

We are living in modern times, when freedom is regarded as a demand for everyone. Freedom and human rights. I more or less support democracy.

However, if freedom is used excessively without responsibility and controlled discipline, it becomes problematic. Many people who have not learn responsibility yet demand freedom which creates a lot of social problems ranging from binge drinking, drug abuse, antisocial behaviour, problems with employment etc...

We should recognised that being too spoilt and having freedom without discipline will cause a lot of harm to us. Our generation, including me need to learn responsibility, discipline and hardwork.

In addition to a less related topic, are we really free? Free from our bad untamed nature?

Mental-emotional defense system

If someone attacks us, it is only natural to block and manuver out the way to safety. If a disease attacks our body, it is natural for our immune system to build natural defensive mechanism and against the disease so our body maintain healthy. The idea is that there is a defense mechanism against the unhealthy negativity to maintain a healthy state. Sadly, it is not always the case for the weak, especially for the mind and emotions of the untrained when being under attack or exposed to negative factor. The trained mind differentiate the wise one from the foolish ones.

The wise one have a trained mind of mindfulness, patience and concentration. When others throw negativity at the wise one, one is mindful that the attack is pointless and especially not to lower the standard to the foolish person, so one put a mental defense barrier, reject the unplesantly gift, ignore the person, let go of any afflictions or negative response and maintain a healthy calm, peaceful and "unaffected" mind. Ones heart is safe guarded from the posion of afflictions such as shock, anger, resentment, low esteem etc... In other words, the wise one do not mindlessly react to the action of others, but maintain in control of self.

On the other hand, non-trained people do not have mental barrier and mindlessly react to the actions of others, even if it is pointless or emotionally unhealthy. They are easily expose and are like muppets, easily manipulated and controlled by others, including deviant, evil or foolish people. Because of the lack of mental defense mechanism, many people suffer and get hurt needlessly. Sadly, it is normally the timid and innocent sincere people who get the rude awakening and traumor from harsh individual, but this is when they should realised the importance on protecting their mind and emotion, instead of reacting to their level and lowering their standard into an hurtful, aggressive, manipulative and harsh individual.

So a part of the this spiritual path, is to build a mental defensive mechanism. To say no, reject negativity and rubbish people give you, maintain a healthy heart and mind, and continue walking through life happily.

There is an eastern parable, of a man who went to insult a wise man. The wise man said if a person offer him a present but he do not offer, where does the gift return to? The foolish man replied, to the person who gives the gift. So the wise man said, likewise, he is not accepting the irratonal insult from the foolish man, so the gift goes back to the foolish man. What is mean, is that it is up to the wise man to accept or reject the gift, if a person attempts to bring insult to a wiseman, it is up to the receiving end to accept it or not, so a a wiseman can reject and maintain clear and calm hearted unaffected.

With the defensive control barrier, you have the control to accept or reject whatever comes on your way. If it is positive, you can accept it, if it is negative you can reject it. You become the master of you mind and no longer a puppet controlled and manipulated by others.

True master is egoless

Some may conceive masters to be superior and highest rank people, so they think it is something to feel superior, be egotistic and arrogant about.

In matter of fact, it is the opposite. True masters do not feel superior, but is egoless and not arrogant. In stead of feeling like the king, a true master is like a servant to everyone, that is the only way a master can serve and benefit everyone. A true master have humility, so they can be like a ground where people can walk on safely. True master is like water, which never tries to fly higher than others but stream down humbling and only serve to refresh those suffering from thirsy without wanting anything in return. True master has empty the heart, so it can serve as a hallow cup for people to use it as a drinking tool to grow.

Only through selfless, egoless and humility can a master truely help other and attain such title without attachments. How I sincerely respect such masters.

It is ironic how in reality, the one who is humble enough to be the lowest rank is the greatest spirited people and the one who egotistically seeks the highest rank are the lowest spirited people.

Is greed for spiritual power good?

This maybe a topic in some spiritual discussion and is nevertheless important. From my research, here is the answer.

No. It is spiritually unhealthy and dangerous for the practioner to carry out spiritual practice for the sake of just having spiritual powers, fame etc...

Why? Because the main essence and purpose for spiritual practice is to purify the heart from the poison of afflictions including greed, anger, hatred, delusion, scatterness. ego etc... That is true cultivation and the right way to go. However, seeking spiritual powers with the wrong intentions such as greed, fame etc... will only cause more afflictions of greed, ego, arrogance and of such, causing more danger to one self and goes opposite from the purpose of purification and true enlightenment. That is why masters do not teach to ego and greedy people with muc afflictions.

Spiritual powers are regarded as sideline that naturally comes with spiritual practice, however the main point is purifying the heart and nuture one virtues. That is true practice. In fact, it is regarded as breaking precepts if one use their spiritual powers to show off or for wrong purpose. If one start off crooked, one will end up crooked. If one start of truthfully, one will bear true fruits.

People also say that spiritual powers could be temporary borrowed with the help of other spirit entity such as ghost and demons, however this is regarded as dangerous practice, as one may end up subjected to them, manipulated, controlled and end up as slaves for who they borrow from. Such practices are like suicidal.

Karma in a nutshell

According to my limited understanding, I have summarise what I know about Karma.

Good deeds (in actions, speech and thoughts) leads to good results
Bad deeds (in actions, speech and thoughts) leads bad results
Pleasurable life use up your good karma (which is not good)
Unpleasant experience repay bad karma (which is good, especially if you don't add more bad deeds)

Understand it is complicated as karma is a collectively a mixature of past lives of both good and bad deeds (in action, speech and thoughts). Karma is also determined by various factors, which changes constantly due to our current and previous deeds (in action, speech and thoughts).

So here are some useful tips regarding karma:

1. Best to avoid overly luxury life and comfort, otherwise good karma burn out. A simple life is the best, the middle way.
2. Best to nuture, harnest and create more good karma by good deeds (in action, speech and thoughts)
3. Instead of using all your good karma by living a luxury life, use your energy to grow spiritually, as it will be with you in the next life and enlightenment is eternal.

Examples of creating good karma are:

• Offering, giving and helping people in need like alms giving. The blessing increase if you give sincerely, without wanting anything in return. Inferior giving has less blessings, such as reluctantly giving, giving with the intention of something in return etc...
• Saving animals and lives.
• Up holding precepts,

Low self esteem management

From my own personal experience, I collected a few pointers I think would be healthy for you self esteem.

1. Seclusion: I find that it is useful to retreat from worldly life once a while, especially from the media orientated life which invoke superficial expectation and demand which may not be fulfilled. In time when not provoke and overly exposed by negative views, your heart will calm down and heal it self.
2. Believe in mutual respect for all: You should change your belief system from discrimination to equality in term of mutual respect. How everyone has the right to be respected, every living beings. Only through respecting others can you feel you have the right to also be respected. If you begin to discriminate and disrespect otherwise, it is in due time that the disrespectful mentality will engulf you.
3. Base your values on inner qualities and not superficialness: Do not base you values on superficialness such as beauty, fame, wealth etc... but base them on inner qualities and true virtues. This is clarity, wisdom and justice, for if you have done nothing wrong you have nothing to feel worthless about. For the shallow world, the winner is the best looking, the most successful, the most rich etc... where those superior in a superficial sense are considered greater than the inferior. This is the wrong belief system which will leads to inequality and low self esteem. Believe that greatness is measure from inner qualities and virtues such as fairness, honesty, clarity, kindness, compassion, wisdom, sincerity, nobility etc... This is the noble and correct way of seeing the greatness in people. In that way, you are not subjected to feel inferior nor intimidated to people who possess empty, shallow and superficial qualities. In that way, you feel you are holding a sense of values, respect and dignity, something to be confident and please about.
4. Do not seek approval from others for your values: a lot of people measure their values and self worth by the opinions of others, which is dangerous, misleading and not true. No one have the rights to label you and give you value, as it is their own business. If someone don't like your ways, then it is their business, as long as you are not harming others and yourself. If you believe that everyone should have respect, dignity and values, then you are indeed entitled for values, as you are a human!
5. Know unwholesomeness reduce values: if you act, speech and think in a unwholesome and harmful way, then you know yourself that you have less values in virtues. A sense of remorse is useful for reforms, improvement and self development.
6. Avoid negative influences: If you could, try to avoid certain individual that is not healthy for your self esteem, this may include people who is overly arrogant and egotistic who tries to prove a point that they are better than others due to their insecurities. They may behave by looking down at others with regards to superficial aspect like beauty, status, wealth and what not. Or there are people who tries to gain superficial status by acting like funny clowns and jack ass, to degrade themselves since they are scare of failing and prefer forfeiting without a challenge, which is ironically the same as failing.

The greatest philosophy is no philosophy

"The greatest philosophy is no philosophy.
The greatest philosophy is way of life.
The greatest philosophy is practicing of emptying the heart (of afflictions)".

Why is the greatest philosophy no philosophy? Because philosophy is only confine to our own conceptual and intellectual capacity which is only limited. Philosophy is as far as our intellect can go. The higher truth is beyond the intellect, it is spiritual and self mastery and awakening.

Greatest philosophy is way of life, because it is experience and not just mere intellectual thoughts. it is self understanding, the understanding of the mind.

The greatest philosophy is emptying of heart from afflictions, attaining the spiritual awakening and experiencing the higher truth.

This is what I have been investigating upon.

Teachers should teach virtue

"I believe a teacher's job is to enhance a student's virtues"

Hardwork quote

Whatever you do, do it good.

Whatever you do, give it everything you've got ~ Mitaka

Through hardwork comes the sweet reward

"Through the bitter hardship comes the sweet reward"

This is self explanatory! Other flowery quotes are...

"Only through enduring the bitter coldness can the cherry blossom bloom so sweet"

"Rain makes the ground firm" ~ Akemi

Priority in life

When working, especially in the business field, it is where people think of profits. But don't forget the reason why you are working, which is to live. And don't forget to live is to be alive, alive in mindfulness, being present and also cherishing the blessings of love ones, nature etc...

Know the priority in your life, and the true meaning behind your existance, may it ultimately be for spiritual growth and developing the right relationship between each other.

Better to do than worry

As they say, it is easier to do it than worry about it ~ Ambulance man

This reminds me of some cases, like when I pointlessly worry extensively about the exams when I should just study and prepare for it. Or the time when I sit on my desk wasting hours worrying about getting my loan student application sorted out, when I could just get it done out of the way.

Sometimes we fall into the habit of worrying pointlessly when we just need to do it!

"Just do it" ~ Nike slogan!

Of course, it doesn't mean we can't psych ourself up with inspiration and aspiration to encourage you to take action! And of course, worry can be a good motivator as long as it helps, but if it doesn't help, then it's pointless worrying!

"If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry." ~ Dalai Lama